Unconscious sado-masochism, the chronically offended and the political games doomed to fail


I: Introduction: Freud with Skinner?

 

            In this essay I will briefly present the most relevant aspects of my theory of unconscious sado-masochism for its applications in socio-political issues, as well as the concept of “games doomed to fail”, the political games that are rigged from the start.

            One point of intersection between Freudian psychoanalysis and Skinner’s behaviorism is their way of viewing self-destructive/self-sabotaging behavior in individuals. Like I mentioned in my article about behavioral psychoanalysis1, whereas Freud sometimes thought that symptoms and self-destructive behaviors persist because there is a “secondary benefit” to them, Skinner thought that pretty much any behavior persists because it is “reinforced” (rewarded), which would automatically include the self-destructive ones. I interpreted this as both of them saying essentially the same thing: when a person engages in a repetitive behavior that does more harm than good to them in the long-term, there is some sort of “benefit” or “reward” associated with it, regardless of whether the subject is aware of it or not.

Take, for example, Freud’s view of the etiology of psychosomatic illness, where he thought that patients “cling to their illness” because there is some sort of secondary benefit of being physically ill (not going to war, attention and/or power over family members, etc.)2. It must be made clear that in Freud’s example, he is not talking about people faking being ill (so they don’t go to war, for example), he’s talking about people literally becoming ill with various physical symptoms (physical pain, weakness, fainting, vomiting, flu-like symptoms, anything) that have psychological causes.

            I will apply this idea in order to give one example of such “masochistic” behavior that is reinforced, that is relevant in today’s discussions about political correctness, cancel culture and various forms of alienation3 – more specifically, the alienation based on identities like race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. (“identity politics”).

 

II: ‘Chronically offended’ – what is that?

 

            Let’s call the people I am describing “chronically offended”. I already discussed this behavior in chapter III of “Brainwashed by Nothingness” but I did not call it in this way, I described it in the larger context of phobias. The way it manifests is this: the chronically offended person is offended by a particular topic, person, phrase/word, etc. and either:

1.     Intentionally looks out for it

2.     “Accidentally” always ends up in situations where they witness the object that offends them, by “coincidence”

It shall be made especially clear that what I describe by “chronically offended” does NOT include the people who actually make a genuine effort in avoiding whatever makes them offended, triggered or somehow uncomfortable. If someone is offended by a particular ethnic or homophobic slur and makes efforts to avoid hearing it, for example, they are not what I am describing here. Here are some actual examples of being chronically offended:

1.     From ‘progressives’: being so offended by certain (ethnic, homophobic, etc.) slurs that you intentionally look for videos of people saying them so you can “cancel them”. Being so uncomfortable with seeing blackface that you intentionally look for videos with it and get angry at the people who did it.

2.     From ‘conservatives’: being so triggered by people burning the flag that you intentionally look for videos of people doing it so you can cancel them as well.

3.     From any political camp: being so angry or troubled by people with political views that are radically different from yours and their “bad takes” that you spend all day watching videos with them.

4.     Apolitical example: hating an artist’s music so much that you go on all their videos in order to comment on them explaining how trash their music is, while playing the respective song in the background.

All of these scenarios can be summarized as follows: “I hate seeing this so much, I’m gonna watch it again and again!”.

 

III: Share my suffering!

 

            An extra observation that should be noted is that in almost all of the cases that I observed, there is a tendency of the chronically offended to share their suffering with others.

            If a video surfaces of some public figure doing blackface or saying racial slurs in the past, the chronically offended will not only repetitively watch that video again and again, but also make sure that everyone else sees it too, so that other people are offended as well!

            Years ago, a Romanian Youtuber (“Katalin Talent”) recorded himself urinating on the flag, then burning it and then posted it on Facebook. That clip was so offensive to patriots that they not only had to intentionally go and watch it over and over, they had to show it on national TV, so that all the other patriots that are going on with their day, minding their own business and watching TV are also getting triggered about it!

            This is the first reason why I mentioned “unconscious sado-masochism” in the title and not just unconscious masochism: the chronically offended are unaware (unconscious) of the ways in which they are enjoying their suffering (masochism) while also gaining enjoyment, in part, from inflicting a sense of suffering into others (sadism) through sharing the offensive material.

 

IV: What is the hidden benefit, the reward, or the secondary gain? Two possibilities.

 

            If we accept this psychoanalytic-behaviorist view of repetitive behavior, we must find out what exactly is the secondary gain from these behaviors, how is the behavior reinforced? In what way are the chronically offended “enjoying their suffering”? I propose two scenarios:

1.     The hero/savior complex

2.     The victim complex

The first possibility is that the chronically offended person is suffering from what I call the “hero complex”. The hidden benefit is the pleasure for putting someone down below their level, from “saving” others, from “rescuing” others from whatever they consider an “aggressor” or “enemy”. The general formula is this: the pleasure/reward of saving others from “bad” people outweighs the pain/punishment of being offended. The feeling of moral superiority that they receive when condemning evil outweighs the pain of the evil itself.

This is what most commonly happens in today’s “cancel culture”. The people with a hero complex genuinely suffer when they observe people engaging in whatever they deem ‘offensive’ (blackface, burning the flag, etc.), but they also gain pleasure for moralizing someone who they deem morally inferior to them. Whenever the pleasure of moralizing a “morally inferior” person outweighs the pain of witnessing such a person in the first place, their behavior will change such as to put them in such scenarios more often (for example, intentionally looking out for things to ‘cancel’).

This is why we must understand that the chronically offended are not “faking” being offended, just like Freud’s patients did not fake their illness when they benefited from it. Freud’s patients were genuinely suffering when they were ill, there was just some way they were enjoying it simultaneously that they weren’t aware was connected to the illness. Similarly enough, the chronically offended who say they wish that people would stop doing blackface/slurs/flag-burning/whatever genuinely mean it, in the sense that they hate this part of the whole ordeal, they just aren’t aware (conscious) that if people stop doing those offensive things, there would be no one left to moralize, no one left to virtue-signal to that you ‘saved’ them, and they would be worse off overall.

This is why the chronically offended are not either enjoying or suffering when they witness someone being ‘offensive’, they are doing both: enjoying their suffering. There is some way in which they suffer, and some way in which they enjoy, and they are not conscious of the ways in which their enjoyment is related to the offensive act. This is the formula for any unconscious masochism under my own paradigm of behavioral psychoanalysis4.

The hero complex can be summed up as follows: “Look at me, I’m such a good person for standing up against evil! I consciously think I hate evil, but I actually also partially like evil because it gives me the opportunity to look like a hero when I stand up against it!”.

The victim complex would be the alternative scenario. Here, the chronically offended are gaining pleasure out of their own suffering not through overpowering the offender, but through remaining in the powerless state where others can give them sympathy. The secondary gains are often various forms of attention/sympathy and the subtle ways in which this gives one power. It could be summed up as “I’m such a powerless, defenseless victim, look at how much people attack me, save me!”. The end-goal of the victim complex is the same as the hero complex: moral superiority. In the hero complex, the person unconsciously enjoys seeing evil because this gives them a chance to stand up against evil and be morally superior to someone, whereas in the victim complex, the person unconsciously enjoys seeing evil because this removes themselves from moral responsibility.

      We see the victim complex at play in the endless “oppression olympics” of intersectionality. The general formula is this: “I hate being oppressed, because I am disadvantaged, but I also unconsciously love being oppressed, because this means that if I do something unethical, it’s less evil and more justified than if a privileged person does it”. Of course, this should be clear: not anyone claiming to be oppressed or a victim is suffering from this victim complex (only some), just like not all the people who suffer from a victim complex are wrong about the fact they are oppressed (only some). Unconscious sado-masochism always manifests as avoiding the truth, not as blatantly lying. So genuinely being oppressed/disadvantaged and having a victim complex (being unaware of the ways in which this also benefits you) are not mutually exclusive: a victim complex can manifest in many ways: exaggerating how oppressed you are, or unconsciously provoking people into actually oppressing you, or taking advantage of the fact that you were already oppressed despite you not bringing it onto yourself, etc.

The simplest to understand and most “classic” example of the victim complex in politics is “I am [insert disadvantaged group here], so I can’t be racist/sexist/etc.”. Thus, the oppressed person simultaneously hates being discriminated and loves it, loving the fact that this removes them of moral responsibility in the eyes of some other people. For example, a chronically offended black individual might both hate when people are saying racial slurs towards them, and also love that because of this, their unethical actions right after might be more “justified” or “understandable” in the eyes of others (“We have to understand that he was very mad after that, he lost control for a bit, imagine living like him and hearing that everyday, you will snap eventually, etc.”).

One thing that could happen in a victim complex is unconsciously provoking others into being racist/sexist towards you such that you can now get the opportunity to act like an asshole and feel less moral guilt or be less reprehended than if you were to act like an asshole without being discriminated against. This is the main lesson of behavioral psychoanalysis: don’t reinforce punishment, otherwise people will start to punish themselves just for the secondary reward. In this example, a person may observe (either consciously or unconsciously) that they get less scolded for being an asshole to others right after experiencing racism than in other cases, and if they love being an asshole to others, they may (either consciously or unconsciously/unintentionally) provoke others to be racist towards them just so they can have the opportunity to be assholes (either that, or unconsciously putting themselves in situations with a higher probability of experiencing racism, etc.).

Revenge is a big part of the victim complex. The examples are all over politics, but not only, there are many apolitical examples as well from everyday life: if I like to do harm to someone else, I may unconsciously/unintentionally provoke the other person into doing harm onto me first, and only after do harm onto them, so that I feel less moral guilt. In this example, I am simultaneously loving and hating the fact that they hurt me first – I dislike/suffer from how they hurt me, but like/enjoy that now I can hurt them too with less moral guilt.

We can now view the second reason why I titled this article “unconscious sado-masochism” and now just simple masochism. The enjoyment often includes making others suffer too, and not only through sharing the offensive material with others so that as many people are offended as possible, but also through the very acts of revenge, feeling morally superior to others, etc.

Never is Zizek’s joke about the Slovene farmer more relevant than now, in my description of sado-masochism: Once there was a Slovenian farmer who worked on his farm. One day, a god-like figure approached the farmer and offered him a deal. The god-like figure says “I will do whatever you request to you, but whatever I do to you, I will do twice that to your neighbor”. The farmer thinks for a moment then replies: “Take out one of my eyes”. This joke sums up the agenda behind excessive political correctness and cancel culture: please take out one of my eyes (offend me) so that I can have the opportunity of taking out both of yours (cancel you).

It shall be noted that someone can have both a hero complex and a victim complex simultaneously on the same issue. This is often seen in people who identify as part of certain groups who are discriminated/offended/etc.: Americans who fight against flag-burners, black people who point out blackface and racial slurs, etc. (they are both the victim and the hero/rescuer)

 

V: Lacan – you will NEVER be satisfied

 

            You will never be fully satisfied. You can only achieve short-term, partial satisfaction. You will always want more and more. Or at least, this is one of the main fundamental axioms of Jacques Lacan’s psychoanalysis in my opinion: we think we desire (want) this and that object, but what we actually desire is desire itself – we desire to desire. You will always want more and more money, you will always want more and more fame/views/likes, you will always want a better and better body (more fit, more shredded, more muscular, more thin), the search is endless for that perfect satisfaction that you will never get.

            Isn’t this exact same thing going on inside our modern-day political correctness? Isn’t the game of political correctness rigged from the start, designed in such a way such that you can’t win, you can never satisfy the chronically offended (hence why they are chronically offended)? This would be the natural conclusion from our analysis of their hidden motives: they unconsciously wish for people to be evil towards them in order to have who to feel morally superior towards. In the absence of people who are evil towards them, they will have to either:

1.     Intentionally or unintentionally provoke people into being more evil towards them

2.     Intentionally or unintentionally putting themselves in situations with a higher probability of having evil done onto them

3.     Extending their own definition of “evil” to be more encompassing

Number 3. is the one that is most often seen in the endless game of political correctness. Take, for instance, the racism in the USA against black people. Society started out easily: “you’re not allowed to do blackface”. Alright, I don’t see how an actor modifying the color of their skin in order to play a role in some movie is in any way similar to the Minstrel shows from the past where people made fun of black people by imitating stereotypes with genuinely racist intentions, but it’s not a huge demand. After people stopped doing blackface, they (they = the politically correct chronically offended of all races) now needed another way to feel morally superior, so they extended their definition of “racist acts” to include saying/writing slurs like “nigga/nigger”, regardless of whether the person is actually doing it with racist intent, or whether they’re just singing along to some song, quoting someone else, or talking about the word itself from a meta-perspective like I just did in this sentence. Slowly, people stopped doing that publicly and now they again lack a reason to “cancel” people, and since they love the feeling of moral superiority that the act of condemning evil itself gives them, they have to invent more and more absurd things that they deem “racist” or somehow evil: cultural appropriation, etc.

The lesson to learn from this is that political correctness is a game that is doomed from the start, you can not win it: its whole purpose is for condemning people.  If you attempt to satisfy the wishes of the politically correct (stop saying this, stop doing that), they will keep inventing more and more things that are racist, sexist, homophobic or somehow “offensive” and you are back to where you started. In other words, they will never be satisfied.

There is another “endless game that you can never win” that I’ve described in a previous article: racial equity. It is the game played by advocates of identity politics supporting “affirmative action”, “positive discrimination” and other euphemisms of revenge, the ones who believe that equality of outcome is more important than equal treatment. This is why identity politics, political correctness and cancel culture are all three inter-related, forming a “triangle of unsatisfied desire” that some label as “wokeness” lately.

I’ve already discussed the topic in the previous article, “WHY YOU WILL NEVER ACHIEVE "RACIAL EQUITY" - WHAT NO POLITICAL CAMP TELLS YOU”5. The summary is this: race is a social construct that underwent many redefinitions throughout history in order to serve political agendas. If you aim for a goal of racial equity (ex: the average salary of a “white” person should be the same as the one of a “black” person), you will never achieve this because the closer you get to your goal, the more society will redefine the definition of “white person” such as to include more rich people and/or redefine the definition of “black person” such as to include more poor people, re-creating the illusion of racial inequity, and you are back to where you started.

The only way to “win” this game is to not play it in the first place: help disadvantaged/poor people regardless of race. Helping 10 000 white people or 10 000 black people or 5000 white + 5000 black people should all be three morally equivalent scenarios, even if they each have different effects upon racial equity. In the same way that countries are borders that are arbitrarily drawn on the globe, we should also imagine races and ethnicities as imaginary borders around humans: you chose an arbitrarily selected number of mostly rich people and called them “Race 1” and an arbitrarily selected number of mostly poor people and called them “Race 2” and said “Look at all the racial inequity!”, but this doesn’t say anything meaningful about the objective reality you live in.

 

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1: https://lastreviotheory.blogspot.com/2022/07/blog-post.html

 

2: “It must be admitted that there is difficulty in adapting social demands to their psychological condition. This was experienced on a large scale during the last war. Were the neurotics who evaded service malingerers or not? They were both. If they were treated as malingerers and if their illness was made highly uncomfortable, they recovered; if after being ostensibly restored they were sent back into service, they promptly took flight once more into illness. Nothing could be done with them. And the same is true of neurotics in civil life. They complain of their illness but exploit it with all their strength; and if someone tries to take it away from them they defend it like the proverbial lioness with her young. Yet there would be no sense in reproaching them for this contradiction.

(…)

Think of the war neurotics, who do not have to serve, precisely because they are ill. In civil life illness can be used as a screen to gloss over incompetence in one’s profession or in competition with other people; while in the family it can serve as a means for sacrificing the other members and extorting proofs of their love or for imposing one’s will upon them. All of this lies fairly near the surface; we sum it up in the term “gain from illness”. It is curious, however, that the patient - that is, his ego - nevertheless knows nothing of the whole concatenation of these motives and the actions which they involve.

(…)

We describe all the forces that oppose the work of recovery as the patient‘s “resistances”. The gain from illness is one such resistance.” (Sigmund Freud, 1926: “THE QUESTION OF LAY ANALYSIS - Conversations with an Impartial Person”; Part V)

 

3: More on alienation: https://lastreviotheory.blogspot.com/2022/08/alienation-what-is-it-and-can-there-be.html

 

4: Take, for instance, the psychological game described by Eric Berne under his magnum opus “Games people play”:

“The most common game played between spouses is colloquially called "If It Weren't For You," and this will be used to illustrate the characteristics of games in general. Mrs. White complained that her husband severely restricted her social activities, so that she had never learned to dance. Due to changes in her attitude brought about by psychiatric treatment, her husband became less sure of himself and more indulgent. Mrs. White was then free to enlarge the scope of her activities. She signed up for dancing classes, and then discovered to her despair that she had a morbid fear of dance floors and had to abandon this project. This unfortunate adventure, along with similar ones, laid bare some important aspects of the structure of her marriage. Out of her many suitors she had picked a domineering man for a husband. She was then in a position to complain that she could do all sorts of things "if it weren't for you." Many of her women friends also had domineering husbands, and when they met for their morning coffee, they spent a good deal of time playing "If It Weren't For Him." As it turned out, however, contrary to her complaints, her husband was performing a very real service for her by forbidding her to do something she was deeply afraid of, and by preventing her, in fact, from even becoming aware of her fears. This was one reason she had shrewdly chosen such a husband.”

We can see in this scenario how her husband’s prohibitions were both reinforcing and punishing at the same time. She was only aware of the punishing/painful side of it, however. We could say that she was only conscious of the way in which she was hating it, and unconscious of the way in which she was also loving it. She was hating the fact that he’s prohibitive of her stated demands, and unconsciously loving (“enjoying”) the fact that she’s not confronting her fear. In other words, she was unaware that her “net increase in happiness” from the fact that she’s not confronting her fear was related to her husband’s prohibitions in the first place.

Similarly enough, the chronically offended are unaware that their “net increase in happiness” from ‘cancelling’ someone they deem morally inferior is due to that in the first place, they are only aware of the ways in which they hate the people who are offensive, not in the ways in which they use them as an object of their own enjoyment. Or Freud’s patients with psychosomatic illness, there was both a “decrease in happiness” from the illness and a “increase in happiness” from it, but the patients were only aware of the former.

 

5: https://lastreviotheory.blogspot.com/2022/08/why-you-will-never-achieve-racial.html


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